A former soldier who fought some of the hardest battles with himself after witnessing traumatic events on the frontline has spoken about how finally getting the help he needed saved his life.
Rhys Thurtell is one of thousands of veterans who have been supported by Op COURAGE a specialist mental health service for armed forces veterans, for which Essex Partnership University NHS Foundation Trust (EPUT) is the lead provider.
Rhys has shared his story to challenge the stigma around men’s mental health and encourage people to talk about how they are feeling and to seek help early.
He said: “Men’s mental health has a real stigma that you’re a weak or incompetent man for going through something that at the time you really don’t understand.
“That must change in order to save lives.”
The 35-year-old’s mental health deteriorated over several years and he was diagnosed with severe complex post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in 2015.
In December 2022, Rhys woke up from a coma in hospital after attempting to take his own life.
He said: “I woke up and there was no-one there.
“I decided to turn my life around and I just kept on gradually working on myself.”
Rhys had joined the Army at 17 and spent the next five-and-a-half years in the Royal Anglian Regiment.
He served in Afghanistan and witnessed the horrors of war. He was shot at “by every weapon system you can think of,” and saw children and his colleagues maimed.
He won a bravery award for saving the life of a friend who was critically injured by an improvised explosive device.
He also helped three children who suffered life-changing injuries after a phosphorous grenade they were holding exploded in their hands.
Rhys believes these two horrific incidents were the triggers for the decline in his mental health.
“When I came back from Afghanistan, my family started to notice I wasn’t the same,” he said.
“I was erratic, took lots of risks and felt like I was going at 100mph all the time.”
He was promoted to Corporal, but found he had lost interest in the Army.
Rhys, who lives in Norwich, said: “I tried to hide my mental health from the Army and the people closest to me for years in the hope it would just disappear.
“I left the Army in mid-2013 and I was worried about what the other blokes would think as I was a Corporal leading men, a top soldier winning numerous awards for bravery in Afghanistan, was named Soldier of the Year in 2010, and a company boxer.
“But all I was actually doing was making it worse and I got overwhelmed with depression and anxiety.
“I ended up turning to alcohol and drugs that sent me down an even darker path that ended with attempts to take my life on numerous occasions.”
He struggled to work after leaving the Army, sofa surfed, and led a chaotic lifestyle.
“I became a recluse but at the same time when it was time to drink, I would go out and get into trouble and get arrested a lot,” said Rhys.
“In among all this, my eldest son was born and then my twins, so I was trying to look after my children but really hated who I had become.
“I was very emotional, I hated myself and hated my life.”
Rhys would physically beat himself up and attempted suicide several times.
He was put in touch with Op COURAGE following his last suicide attempt in December 2022.
As a lead provider of the service, EPUT works closely with Norfolk and Suffolk NHS Foundation Trust and charity partners St Andrew’s Healthcare, Mental Health Matters, Walking With The Wounded and The Warrior Programme.
Rhys, who said he has lost many friends as a result of alcoholism and suicide, said: “It has been life-changing. Without Op COURAGE and without the support they gave me I wouldn’t be here.
“My support worker Dave Rose saw that I was willing to do anything to change my life and his support gave me the drive, stability and structure I needed to know if I kept on this path, good things could happen.
“I can’t put into words how much they have helped me because it’s emotional to speak about it.
“If I didn’t have Op COURAGE there I would have gone back to my old ways.
“My parents have also always supported me and tried to get me help.”
Rhys was discharged from the service in mid-October. He now has a home, he runs the plastering and rendering division of his father’s building business, and when he’s not at work or in the gym he is with his children.
He is also working with two charities, the Armed Forces Para-Snowsport Team Supporting Wounded Veterans, and is starting a personal development and mindset coaching company early next year called PTSD2POWER.
“Every day I work on myself and I do meditation and exercise,” he said.
“I am making up for lost time. I have not had a bad day in eight months now.
“I just wake up and think life is so beautiful. I am so blessed to be here.
“Because of what I’ve been through I think I went through all that for a reason.
“I don’t do negative talk any more. It’s an art, you have to make a conscious effort to positively talk about yourself.
“I manage my mental health now. It’s not disappeared. I won’t stop doing the things that have helped me, even if I have to push myself sometimes to do them, because I feel great afterwards.
“You can’t fix yourself overnight, it takes time, dedication and hard work.”
His message to other men who are struggling is to seek help and to not give up.
“Whatever situation or struggle you find yourself in right now, whether it be mentally or physically, understand that life’s toughest battles are given to its strongest soldiers,” said Rhys.
“Our only limitations are that of your imagination, so dream big, be brave, and fight on.
“Challenges, setbacks and relapses are part of the journey onto a better version of yourself.
“Never give your life up, for one day you will smile again with the sun beaming down on your presence.
“Be patient, be persistent, be positive, be kind to yourself, and work hard enough.
“Remember you have a choice. Start making the right choices today for a better tomorrow.”
Visit the Op COURAGE page for more information about the service.