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Dying Matters: starting the conversation

Talking about dying can feel difficult and emotional. This page offers gentle support to help you start conversations and find the right help when you need it.

Information:

There is no right time or perfect way to begin. These conversations can happen gradually, when the time feels right.

Talking about dying can feel difficult, emotional, or even frightening. Many people worry about saying the wrong thing or choosing the wrong moment.

But starting these conversations early about wishes, values, and what matters most can bring comfort, clarity, and peace of mind for everyone involved.

Support

Talking about dying can bring up strong feelings. You don’t have to do this alone. Support is available in many different ways, depending on what you need.

Support is available:

  • Within EPUT services
  • Through local support and charities
  • From bereavement support services

We offer a range of support to help you and those close to you.

Palliative and end of life care teams
Support with complex needs, symptom management, and planning ahead.

Palliative Care nursing team
Opening hours
Monday to Friday 8am to 7pm
Saturday and Sunday 8am to 4pm

Phone:0333 015 3481 Email:[email protected]

West Essex Macmillan Cancer support and information service

Drop in facility at centre, please call ahead before visiting.
Advice line: 01279 698673 Monday to Friday, 9.30 to 2.30
Email: [email protected]

Mental health and emotional wellbeing support
Help with anxiety, fear, grief, and emotional distress related to dying and loss.

Therapy for You (NHS Talking Therapies)
The service to available to anyone over the age of 18 who live in South East Essex or over the age of 16 who live in North East Essex and are not currently receiving secondary mental health care or crisis services.

South East Essex 01268 739 128
North East Essex 01206 334 001

Bereavement support
Losing someone you love is never easy. We can guide you to helpful resources and support groups to help you through this difficult time.

Spiritual, cultural and pastoral support
Support that respects individual beliefs, values, and what matters most to you.

EPUT chaplaincy team
Email:[email protected]

Staff support services
Guidance and supervision for staff having difficult conversations.

Bereavement support
Losing someone you love is never easy. We can guide you to helpful resources and support groups to help you through this difficult time.

Offering support before, during, and after someone dies.

Dying Matters (Hospice UK)-information and resources to help start conversations

Marie Curie – end of life care and support for families

Macmillan Cancer Support – emotional, practical, and financial advice

Sue Ryder – bereavement and palliative care support

Local hospices and compassionate community services

Fair Havens Hospice-South Essex: Southend-on-sea

Farleigh Hospice-Mid Essex: Chelmsford

Little Havens Hospice-South Essex: Benfleet

St Helena Hospice-North Essex: Colchester

St Luke Hospice-South Essex: Basildon and Thurrock

St Clare Hospice-West Essex: Hastingwood

MIND provides information on bereavement, where to go for support, and suggestions for helping yourself and others through grief.

Cruse Bereavement Care offers telephone, email, face-to-face or group support. They also offer specialist bereavement support, like support for bereaved children and young people, and for people bereaved through suicide, drugs and alcohol.

Bereavement Advice Centre offers a free helpline and web-based information services giving practical information, advice and signposting.

National Bereavement Service offers support, signposting and legal guidance following a bereavement.

Starting the conversation

These are a few suggestions for when you may want to start talking:

  • When someone’s health is changing
  • After a new diagnosis
  • During care planning discussions
  • When someone shares worries about the future
  • When family members or carers have questions

Planning ahead

Information:

Planning ahead is about choice, control, and peace of mind.

This might include:

  • Advance care planning
  • Preferred place of care
  • Who can make decisions if needed

Information leaflet

Life limiting and end of life care

Video