Holly Deboo’s life changed nearly four years agowhen she decided her mental health condition was not going to beat her.
Holly is one of more than 1 million people in the UK who are living with borderline personality disorder (also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder).
She had struggled for many years with its effects and has shared her experiences for Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month to increase understanding of the condition and show it is possible to live well.
Holly said: “My personal reality with emotionally unstable personality disorder meant that I spent most of my time either in A&E or psychiatric inpatient wards with no hope, no strength and no vision of a future for myself. I truly believed this was all that was meant for me.
“After being discharged from my final hospital admission at the end of 2022, I knew I had to make a choice that would shift the whole direction of my life.”
Holly realised her life experiences had made her empathetic, insightful and resilient, and she wanted to use those skills in a positive way.
She said: “This became my purpose, my way of using everything that tried to destroy me to actively create hope and optimism in other people with complex mental health challenges that they could also live well with a diagnosis of a personality disorder.”
Holly works for the Essex Partnership University NHS Foundation Trust’s (EPUT) Personality Disorder and Complex Needs Service User Network as an Expert by Experience Training Coordinator and Facilitator.
The network support each other by sharing their experiences of living with personality disorder.
Members can also work alongside staff and be more actively involved in shaping and developing services, using their lived experience to make positive change. This helps ensure the Trust is delivering mental health care designed with and for the people who use those services.
Holly said: “I also get the opportunity to train and educate other mental health professionals on how to support service users with a personality disorder in an encouraging, empowering and compassionate way.
“This position means I get the opportunity to demonstrate that the challenges you might face do not define your future – strength and purpose can emerge from them.”
The challenges of living with personality disorder have not gone away but she has found ways of living alongside them.
She said: “Every day I battle huge and intense waves of emotions that make functioning a real struggle. My relationship with myself as well as with others can be unstable and really difficult to navigate.
“However, they have also taught me a great deal about resilience and inner strength and I went on to realise that I could actually use this as my superpower.
“For anyone who’s struggling emotionally or is feeling lost on their journey, I want to share this: it is never too late for you to turn your life around and do something that brings you purpose, direction and even joy.”
You can read more about borderline personality disorder on the BPD Foundation UK website.
You can read more about the Personality Disorder and Complex Needs Service User Network on their webpage.
Information about EPUT
- EPUT has a vision to be the leading health and wellbeing service in the provision of mental health and community care: Who we are – Essex Partnership University NHS Foundation Trust
- EPUT provides services to more than 100,000 patients at any one time and our staff are focused on providing high quality care in often complex situations.
- The organisation has invested in inpatient facilities and community services to make them safer and more therapeutic. We have extensively invested in technology to keep patients safer, enhanced training, and are continuously working with our staff, patients, their families and carers to use learning and best practice to enhance our quality of care.
- While there is more to do, the Trust has made significant progress through innovation:
- Our 111 mental health crisis phone line ensures people in need can access support 24 hours a day, 365 days a year
- People with lived experience have been employed in designated roles across the Trust, ensuring patient voice is heart of the organisation and all that we do.
- A number of new initiatives have been launched, helping people access the support they need when they need it most. These include a mental health urgent care department, By Your Side maternal mental health service, Rough Sleeper team, mental health crisis ambulance cars, virtual wards and neuromodulation service.
- EPUT was formed on 1 April 2017 and provides community health, mental health and learning disability services across Essex, Luton and Bedfordshire and Suffolk. We employ more than 7,200 staff working across more than 200 sites.
- To read more about our priorities and commitments to deliver the highest quality and safest care possible, visit https://eput.nhs.uk/about-us/2023-2028-strategic-plan/